Upon This Rock
by Laryna6
Summary: The wheel must turn. Raziel knows he was not truly a god, but now he has taken the Elder's place. What will tether him to mortal life? Janos' faith sustained him all those centuries.
1. Chapter 1

_Springkink prompt – July 11 #35 - Legacy of Kain, Wraith Raziel/Janos Audron: Sacrifice - "For all the choices you never make."_

* * *

If what Kain had said was true, then Janos hadn't chosen to send Raziel to safety alone. It had been his fate: his fate to die a painful death. And yet, in the short time he had known Janos, it had become clear to him that for Janos, it in fact hadn't been a choice. Even if Janos had in fact possessed free will, it would not have been exercised.

Raziel's salvation had stemmed from Janos' very nature, had been inevitable as the water he resembled flowing downhill.

If Janos had asked him why Raziel had restored him and Raziel had been able to articulate the true reasons, he would have answered, "For all the choices you never make, I had to make the choice to do this."

Even if it meant sacrificing his own Sire to raise his Grandsire.

Why was Janos' heart so kind and Kain's so cruel when they were one and the same?

And Raziel found that he couldn't kill him. Not again. Not even to spare him further agony.

So where was the free will even Moebius said he had?

In the end, all he could do was follow the example of the noblest soul he had known, and sacrifice his own life for the one who could save Nosgoth.

And hope that Kain could, in his twisted mercy, do what Raziel could not, and end Janos' suffering. Even in madness, that would be a soul he would keep, treasure, if it fell across his blade.


	2. Chapter 2

_Springkink prompt – July 6 #38 - Legacy of Kain, Kain/Janos: Discovery, Revelations, Worship, Scary Devotion -"He knelt before the hero, the avatar of god."_

* * *

He knelt before Kain, no he was truly the Scion now, wings trembling, eyes clenched shut, and would not rise.

Vorador wondered if this would be the day Janos finally broke. To learn the god he had worshipped was a false one, an evil one, that the weapon he had guarded had been intended not to restore his people to that god's grace but to _kill the damned thing…_ That the faith that had sustained him all those years had been nothing but a lie. That the hated Hylden were innocents, that their vengeance had been just… That his loneliness, the loss of his entire race, everything he had suffered, was…

His loneliness had not broken him. The Sarafan's persecution had not. Even the Hylden had failed.

Was this the third and final time Vorador would lose his sire?

"My God," Janos whispered.

Kain watched, as impassive as a statue. Vorador had grown to know Kain over the millennia that now were a dream, but he wondered if he had ever known the Scion. Freed of corruption, united with the force the pillar could only tap into… Kain had been young, foolish, so very 'human.' Once.

But then, he had never truly been human.

To kill a God, one must call upon a greater power. To kill an immortal, one needs an immortal. To wreak vengeance upon the evil and undo the suffering of the innocent, what power better than balance itself?

"My God," Janos said again, dawning amazement in his voice.

"Yes," answered Kain, "My Sire."

And Janos began to sob, but they were tears of joy.


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I don't own Legacy of Kain, Eidos and Crystal Dynamics do. Nor am I profiting from this fanfiction. _

_Springkink prompt – July 15 #51 - Legacy of Kain, Janos/Raziel: Stolen moments - "What do you see on the horizon?"_

-

It's… difficult.

Raziel thought he was a god once. He now knows how wrong that was. He doesn't think he's a god now, but he and Kain are both so much more than they once were.

His influence stretches as far as the pillars', and he is aware of every soul as it dies and is reborn. The Elder was a parasite on the wheel, but even with it dead and gone the wheel must still turn, or how will souls find their way?

The memories die with the flesh, as he still does not remember his Sarafan life, but the souls that look out through the eyes of children are wiser, now. Another life in which to learn, instead of having all knowledge gained taken away, doomed to repeat the same lessons. Perhaps one day they will grow beyond the wheel, and he will be needed no more.

"What do you see on the horizon?" Janos asks, but it would be better to ask what does Raziel not see. It is an effort to see with only his mortal eyes, to see the horizon, green stretching out as far as even a vampire's eyes can see over what was once waste.

Trapped in the Reaver so long, he is out of practice. He was almost an invalid for the first several months, unable to figure out how to stir from bed, how to move his legs and arms.

Janos' hand lies on his shoulder, and he treasures the sensation, something to focus on to find this body in everything he sees and feels. The souls, impatient for new life, new bodies, cry out to him, but Janos is Janos, a rock in this storm.

Kain assures him he will become accustomed to this, but Kain was a god, the Scion of Balance, born of Balance itself, made mortal, not a mortal newly made a god. He wonders if he will go insane, but doubts it. He survived the Abyss, after all. Kain would not have chosen him if he would fail.

If the Elder could do this, he certainly can as well.

He turns, and it is an effort to see Janos' face instead of his soul. He has a beautiful soul, but Raziel dares not touch it lest he tear it from his moorings.

His face is beautiful as well.

He belongs to Kain, his sword, his right hand, but it is by his own choice now, and he would never betray him, but his hand cups Janos' worried face and he smiles to reassure him, but also because the sight of Janos' face makes him smile.

"I see you," he answers, as he feels Kain's hand around the sword that is much host to his soul as this flesh: Kain's right hand holds him, as it is Raziel's right hand that holds Janos. He knows that Kain knows: how could he not?

Janos kisses him then, and for a moment he is so lost in it that it is the only real thing, even though he knows now that flesh is an illusion.

"Raziel, how long can you stay?" Janos asks him, and Raziel hesitates, because they need him so, all the souls wandering in the Spectral Realm, trying to find new homes. He has not even lain with Kain since his welcome back. Janos does not subsume him as Kain does, but he deserves Raziel's full attention.

He feels Kain act then, and if feels as though a limb has been cut off, suddenly deaf and blind to all but what this body can sense. Save for Kain, he always feels Kain. Kain who reminds him that the Death Guardian does have to earn his keep, after all, when Raziel protests on behalf of the souls.

Janos has missed him, and Janos is kin.

He feels guilty to hand his duty over to another, but his purpose is whatever Kain wills, and it is Kain's will that moves his arms to encircle Janos as much as his own.

Janos watches his face, questioning, but Janos does not ask, for Janos believes they are gods and that their ways are beyond him. And perhaps they are.

Raziel loves Janos, as Vorador loves Janos and Raziel once loved Rahab, but it is the love of mortals, not what exists between him and Kain. It would be easy to forget, to think he loves Janos no more than he loves each soul that passes through his hands, to let duty pull him away from this anchor.

And then he wonders what it must be like for Kain, how difficult it must be for him to hold on to mortal cares now that he is aware of what he truly is. After all, what has Nosgoth caused him but frustration at every turn, and now the daily chores and politics of a fragile peace? A peace that would collapse without him.

So though he fears for the souls, he kisses Janos and puts that aside. "I will stay for as long as you wish me."

"If you were to stay that long, you would never leave," Janos tells him, and Raziel smiles in answer.


End file.
